Monday, March 4, 2013

Crafts, Jess the Mess,and Dumpster diving Weekend Shenanigans

I will start this post off with a "Don't judge me".
I think because Wednesday was my Friday, my consuption of how many adult beverages that I can haz got all screwed up. 
Thursday I crafted. With wine. Because it ain't crafting if there ain't wine. This was the first time that I consumed any of the sweet berry wine in a week, due to a dumb necessary compromise that needed to be had between the hubs and I. 

Productive day right?

Mmmkay, Friday.
Friday, I met my sister out for a nooner. I finally wore my Kiki la' Rue, you tiger now cardi!
One glass of wine at lunch and our plans were made for the the night. Thai and BYOB
Just a quick, unpaid for, non bias review on this stuff....
HORRIBLE! Why, I though buying a wine called "YIB" was going to be delish is beyond me. And why I thought paying $11.99 for each one was some kind of deal for a large box o' wine was stupado. (What I think really turned me on to these, is that the extra tall Starbs straw would have worked perfectly in these yibs, however because I was yearning for such class, we actually used glasses).
Anyways, we drank it. 
We got dropped off after dinner and the hubs and I decided to go out for a drink. 
After about this point, the night gets blurry.
I know this because this is the last picture that was taken in my phone...around 10:30 pm
      If making a paper napkin mustache and sticking it to your mans face with lip gloss at the bar isn't your kind of thing...yawn.
  #OOTD Rue21

 Lets fill you in on the shit show. Saturday morning I wake up, surprisingly, and feel good. 
I vaguely remember last nights shenanigans 1.) meeting a horse named Dexter, whom ate my necklace and 2.) being told that I  took a short nap on a strangers couch. There is nothing worse than being told what you did fyi.
Just as I'm thinking today is going to be a good day 3.) As I was getting dressed I noticed this big bruise. I mean baseball in the thigh kind of bruise. And then it came to me, I also ate it down a flight of carpeted stairs last night in my BCBG pumps, at the same strangers house. White girl Wasted.
First impressions are my thing. 
I think the most mortifying part is that this "stranger", is more of an acquaintance. She's been a bartender at the same local bar foreverWell on Friday, Josh completed his first "pay it forward" in the Dunks drive thru to none other than this BARTENDER! And here I am all "Jess the Mess" mode hours later at her house.

So what did I do on  Saturday. I went out and had a few bloody's and a heath bar mudslide!
 We finished the day off with some dumpster diving.

 "WOOD, and coffee cups and wrappers, Oh MY!"

And it was finally semi-warm enough that with a shit load of gasoline, we were able to burn our Christmas tree later that afternoon

And YAY to March and spring!!! I'm all about building my bank account up this month, despite the bachelorette party, boston bloggers meet up, army reunion and girls night that I have planned. 
Mallory and I are launching a March Challenge. Because neither one of us can commit to "A Mile a Day In March" we are launching "NO SPEND MARCH!"
So grab a button for your blog and save this month! 

*fineprint. No Spend March does not mean that you cannot by groceries, wine, have a date night etc. It simply means stop buying shit for your self and stay out of Target if you want to be successful with this one!  

And now that my hangover is finally gone, I will be productive today!!!!


  1. I tried on 3 separate occasions to get white girl wasted to no avail. This included many bottles of wine and multiple margaritas the size of my face. Bummer. Glad you had a fun weekend!

  2. haha! Awesome post! And also, I love no spend March! Me and the hubs created a budget yesterday. We are trying to budget for every little thing so that all of our money is accounted for before the month starts! It's hard because that means I only get a ceratin amount for Target. Boo! But as Dave Ramsey says, you should tell your money what to do, your money shouldn't be telling you what to do! LOL!!

  3. Omg girl. Gasoline?!?! You all are crazy! That could have spread to your house! Next time use starter sticks and lighter fluid. Or ask a Girl Scout to come over (just don't steal her cookies).

  4. am doing the spend march. Worst part..its my bday month..I am already drooling over clothes but I gotta be good to my bank account! Love the white girl wasted! I wish I could have seen all this fun! It looks like a wonderful weekend! Love the Kikilarue beer cozies!

  5. Shut up, there isn't seriously a "Mile A Day in March"
    I love when you get white girl wasted

  6. I think you just made my morning 'White girl wasted'- completely hilarious. I'm doing the opposite of no spend March because retail therapy is this girls best friend.

  7. why are you so damn gorgeous? and you have the funnest adventures!

    love the paper mustache btw!

    can you please tell me more about this necklace eating horse?!

  8. ohhh my GOSH I would kill for that bonfire.
    Hubs with the lipgloss mustache, classic.
    and I've been the drunk girl falling down the stairs my entire life, hell I do it sober. I would totally bask in your glory because it takes one hell of a chick to be able to pull that off looking good, and I am sure you looked suppa fly while doing it;)

  9. This post is KiKiLaRued up! haha You look fab girl! I am loving your hair, by the way. Ever since I saw your little mudslide drink on Instagram I've been wanting one! Yummy!

  10. White girl wasted... hahahahahaha! Oops!

  11. ummm could you be cuter? ok no. and glad to know that wine is terrible. Love the craft! you iz skilled!

  12. No judgments here :) I may or may not have gotten white girl wasted on sat night :)

  13. LOVE that leopard cardigan!!!

  14. Jess you crack me up. I need more of you in my life!

  15. Lol - your weekend sounds like a blast! Dumpster diving though? Not fun. But if it led to a fire then fun. I love fires (mainly b/c I love s'mores and to me they go hand in hand).

  16. I want to hang with Jess the Mess. Just throwing it out there.


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