Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Mashed Potatoes? Oh Wurd. Dating linkup

Um yeah, this link up is brilliant.
When I was 27, I was a serial dater. I'm not proud to say that now, but I was proud of it back then. Moving on.

I had met this guy out, who was a friend of some friends. I wasn't super interested but I did like dinner and dates. 
We decided to go out for dinner on a Friday at 6.
Red flag #1 I had to pick him up.
So, 6 o' clock came and went and I wasn't picking him up until he confirmed the date. 
Around 8 o' clock I received a text that asked where I was

So he said he was sorry and asked me to come and pick him up.
 I got lost on the way to his house and I had to call for directions.

Red flag #2 he was kind of slurring on the phone, while telling me directions, but I just thought that it was bad service.
 I scooped him up and we went to a place 20 minutes away from his house for dinner.
As I was driving, I noticed he is hammered. However, this is entertaining to me and by no means makes me mad. 

We get to dinner, he orders more beers (I wasn't stopping him, fuel on the fire) and we get our food.
As we are eating, he is only using his right hand. His left hand has now been resting in his mashed potatoes for about 5 minutes. And he's just chatting away and eating and drinking etc. Almost acting as if that hand isn't even a part of his body. Just picture it, EVERYTHING with one hand, from eating a steak tip to drinking his beer, while the left hand just sits there.....flaccid.

We get in the car to head home and he passes out.
Naturally, I then have to bring him by two friend's houses and have them come outside so that I can roll down the passenger window and show them my passed out date.

Weeks later, I saw him out again and he told me he wanted a re-do and that he owes me a date. 
Ummmm, negative ghost rider.


  1. WOW....I think you should of taken pictures and drawn on his face for doing this.

  2. Haha omg, I think I dated this guy. Or his twin. Although we didn't make it through dinner, he got kicked out of the restaurant for falling down in the kitchen. No clue why he was in the kitchen, but whatever man. Haha. I love that you showed your friends. And that ecard has me dying!

  3. HAhahahaha. Gotta love you for finding a drunk date entertaining. I dunno what I would have done in your shoes.

  4. OMG! His hand was in the mash potatoes? Did it fall asleep or something? I am dying, this is hilarious!! You took him to your friends house!! hahahahaha

  5. Hahaha fell asleep in the mashed potatoes. Dating, geeeeez.

  6. I loooove that you took him to friends houses... bahahahaha!!!

  7. yummmm lol i hate the word flaccid...almost more than i hate "moist"


  8. Dying at the mashed potatoes lol. So funny

  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA why the hell was his arm dead!? I was kind of waiting to hear that it was a fake arm or something but nope just his drunk ol arm chilling in the potatoes. How did he not notice while eating that it was there?!

  10. OMG loving the E-card -- WOW what a dumbass...

  11. Oh jeez that is terrible! I guess we know why he wanted you to drive.

  12. ...I have no idea what to say about this! Woah.

  13. O... M... G... What a winner! Lol. Def sounds really entertaining!

  14. What? You didn't give him a re-do?

  15. lmao wow what ab experience! thanks for sharing :)

  16. DYING. I would never look at Mashed Potatoes the same ever again,

  17. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. He failed to mentioned you had to drive since his license was revoked! I had a 2 hour day and only got to speak one sentence. He complained the waiter was too friendly, said he wouldn't get a dog till he was married so someone would be home to take care of it, then made me go halvsies on dinner. We didn't re-do it either!

  18. Hilarious! I missed all the fun meeting John when I was only 20.

  19. Hahahahaha. I was laughing throughout this entire post! I had a date who passed out during a movie once (he got hammered before I even arrived) and it was so awkward. I definitely don't miss dating AT ALL.


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