Friday, October 5, 2012

Redneckognize




This post could possibly be offensive to some. However,  if it is, please know that I too live this life. 

The rule in our home is that I decorate and clean the inside and he maintains and decorates the outside. On the inside, think stainless, pottery barn, vintage flare, and CLEAN. Well, as clean as it can be with two nut job dogs. We live in the Boondocks and way off the road, so our house can't be seen from the street. I'm am very glad that this is the case, in times like these. So, today I stumbled in our shed/garage. The door WAS open. I'd like to share some of the things that are in here with you...........
Yes that's a John Deere lawn mower. I think this supplies my husband's oxygen. I have no issues with this manly toy. It serves a purpose and it is the Cadillac of mowers. Its is only lacking an ipod docking station and next year I am buying him a canopy for it. Think Fred Flintstone style. I think it should get registered plates as well. However, please look closely above the mower.
Yes right there! That is a $125.00 ceiling fan from Lowes. It is nicer than the ones that we currently have in our home. But we all know that it gets hot when we sit on our John Deere and drink beehs in the shed. GIT ER DONE.

Next is the NFG barrel.  It is my understanding that men love these. Well at least burly, handsome, red neck men do. And to my knowledge, for a man, having one of these is a must.

Thankfully ours in the shed and not outside in the yard. I'm sure NFG stands for something legit. However, to us, it stands for "No f'ning Good". I like things that are re-named for their purpose but this one? In the house, it's just called the trash can. Which brings me to my next pic. *Ahem
This is in the  middle of our driveway. Just in case you need to throw something out. Just in case you forget to take out the trash, this is a reminder. This was in the house at one time and has made its way to being the outside meet and greet lawn ornament to our guests. "Welcome! Please feel free to throw some of your shit out!
Oh, hey there fishing lure bird feeder ! You are cute, but to me, you are still red neck. Up in these here parts we also use the word jucket. * note, that is not a small house with a small casement window and a high efficiency ceiling fan in the back ground. It's the shed

Cabelas hat? check. Camo? Check. Fishing hook on the side of the brim? Check. NEED I SAY MORE!?

Just to make things clear. We do have most of our teeth in this house. At least all of the front ones anyways. We do mow our lawn. I assure you that we are not related.  No pig named Glitzy. We don't hang a confederate flag and we don't chew tobacco on the regular. This house may have redneck tendencies but they are kept under control! If they weren't under control, I assure you our house would be on Hoarders and the American Picker's van would be in our yard!  And at the end of the day, this is the stuff that makes me smile and laugh. These differences are why we work. This is man stuff. *GRUNT! I get it.  I'm in to pumps, glitter, wine, and all things girly. While he loves flannel, fishing, camping, drinking beer and all things kinda-redneck.

To the hubs, I love ya and I apologize that I've used some of your belongings in this post but I just had to lol.  I lost it when I saw the ceiling fan today, so I walked around the yard and took some still shots of your prized processions.


Happy Friday and please enjoy your favorite adult beverage in your red solo cup and proceed to party!

7 comments:

  1. I'm seriously dying this and our twitter convos are just a bit much hahaha

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  2. My most fave yet!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. did you check the shed for a pig ?????

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  3. LOL ohmygosh I'm dying. Too funny!
    Seriously though what's the blue barrel for?? Haha

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  4. the most redneck thing in our house is a framed picture of an 80lb catfish on the wall...not so bad BUT WAIT! The hook that caught it is hanging on the frame. Redneckanize!

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  5. Ummm...love this. All of it. We don't even have a garage, but once we do, I'm totally stocking it with a ceiling fan. :-)

    New follower stopping by from "From California to Kansas!" Feel free to come and say "Hi!"

    Stef

    http://missjoandco.blogspot.com

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  6. Awesome blog! I'm a follower! Thanks Mallory for the 411!

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  7. hahahahahahahaha....you mean it's abnormal to have a more 'spensive fan out in the SHED?? lol
    I'd like to hear your hubby's version of this! ;)

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