Friday, November 14, 2014

Fart Forbidden Zone

Since I met my husband he has this hate for farts.
 He detests them.
 I found this out briefly after I let one sneak out about 10 years ago. I literally thought he was never going to speak to me again.

I've never heard him fart. Well maybe a few times, but just in his sleep. And I can't even tell him about it because he denies it. What's the fun in that?    

 About 4 years ago we had to have a talk about a fart "allowance".
The talk went like this....

Me: Babe sometimes you need to just fart?!

Him: I don't.

Me: Seriously. What am I supposed to do? It's not like I'm doing it out in public or in the bed and giving you a dutch oven?

Him: Farting belongs in the bathroom

Me: So if I have to fart,  you want me to run to the bathroom?

Him: Yes.

Because farts make him disgusted, I will now go to the bathroom to fart.
I can walk into the bathroom and talk to him with the door open and fart, as long as I'm in the bathroom however he will usually call me a sick bitch after the said event.

Now why bring up this topic? Because Charlotte farts like a champ!!!! And I love it. For all of those years that I had been denying myself relief from a fart, this little kid just lets em rip.
And I think it's just hilarious. 

Now let one rip and say "this one's for you Josh" and get back to work!


  1. I'm dying! I can only imagine you running to the bathroom.

  2. Hah! I have to say I am kinda with Josh. I mean, I don't detest farts. I think they are funny (most of the time), but they are a private thing. Alex has never heard me. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't happen, but to me it is private. And if he has ever heard me when I'm sleeping he is kind enough not to say anything. Baby J toots, not ALL the time, but he obviously does. And I HATE it when people call attention to it. Like, let the kid have some dignity. And then I think I am going to give my kid my fart hang-ups and keep it to myself! Haha

  3. OMG this is hysterical. Sadly, my husband has no shame when it comes to this to this, so I catch them more often than not

  4. Literally laughing out loud in my office and I'm sure my coworkers think I'm nutty! Hysterical!!

  5. Hahaha! Now you can fart and just blame it on Charlotte! ;)

  6. Our dogs fart enough for a few households - remind me to never introduce them! In fact - when people come over we have to add a disclaimer that if they smell something it's probably our gassy pups. This is too funny though - I've never met a guy who's so averse to toots!

  7. Hahahahahaha!!! This is hilarious! My husband is an avider farter so we have no issues there. Except, he would rather mine be loud and not stinky like his, then silent and ooooohhh soooo horrible! Like clear the room horrible LOL

  8. Luckily my husband and I have gotten very used to each others' farts. Actually, maybe we are TOO comfortable with them. lol


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