Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The truth behind my bump.

I've decided to write this post to be totally truthful and honest about my pregnancy.
First and foremost, I am extremely excited, blessed and thankful to be pregnant. 

However, it is not all that it's cut out to be.

My body has slowly been turning into something that you would see in a National Geographic magazine. I've got a zebra stripe down my belly and other areas are getting darker as well. I'm aware that these are temporary and that the outcome will out weigh this cosmetic complaint.

With only 7 weeks and 2 days left, I've developed this non-stop nagging back pain. Tylenol, heating pads, massages or chiropractic has not helped.
With a job that requires me to be on my feet all day, around 2 pm I am ready to rip out my spine.
And because of the fact that I am working up to my due date to save money for my unpaid maternity leave, I am sure this will only be getting worse.

I wish that there was a zipper down the front of my belly. I feel like I could bust. There is no room in there for anything. I'm always hungry but can't fit in enough food to satisfy my appetite, so I over eat and then within an hour ............ barf. 
I don't know what's worse, the acid reflux or my stomach being the size of an apple.

I'm confident that I could out-burp any man regardless of how many beers he has had. Whether your a proper southern belle, come from extreme wealth or just plain royalty and indigestion is one of your pregnancy side-effects...you can toss any and all of your "class" out the window.
I've had eyelash extensions for the last 4 years. The thing about eyelash extensions, is that you can wake up with the worst bed head in the world and dried drool on your cheek but your eyes are still gorgeous!
Around my third month of pregnancy, my own eyelashes started to produce this oil, which made my lashes reject the extensions. I'm now left with these nubs. 

I also usually go for laser peels a couple of times a year. They totally rejuvenate your skin and make you glow. They are not safe during pregnancy.
 Pregnancy hasn't been nice to my skin. I have rough patches and uneven skin tones on my face. Hello patchy leather face.
I've also been and avid retinol user which is a no-go when your pregnant.

Three pillows, four pillows, bumpnest pillow...whatever, none of them are working at this point. I can't get comfortable. I've put them between my legs, around my neck, under my feet and I've attempting sleeping sitting up. I have cried in the middle of the night because I can't fall asleep. Pathetic. 
It most likely does not help that I go to bed after Jeopardy. That's 8 o'clock and it's still light out.

As most of you know I love wine and in my non-pregnant life I wouldn't be venting about all of these insecurities and complaints because I would be drowning myself in a nice bottle of Santa Margerita Pinot Grigio (like the rest of you). I would enjoy this bottle of wine in the bathtub, but since my third month of pregnancy my bathtub has become non functioning and floods the basement when in use.
 This bottle of wine would also help me in the sleep deprivation department.

I'm also aware that not every one thinks that the "bump" is cute. As a matter of fact, some people are grossed out by it.
If you are one of these people, please keep in mind that at the end of the day being pregnant isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Our bodies are working hard on making a miracle and that miracle requires taking everything from us. Some of us pregos are struggling enough with our own issues so please keep your issues with our pregnancy to yourself.

In less than 2 months, this will all be worth it. I'm sure of it.  I've heard it a thousand times. 
But that doesn't mean that right now, I can't bitch and moan about it. 


  1. Oh girl, I could have written this post. I felt the exact same way (although our septic backed up instead of flooding). It's the worst. You feel like it will last forever. I'm sorry you feel so crappy. I promise you will feel like a million bucks after though. The marks will take awhile to go away though. And who the eff said they were grossed out by your pregnancy? You look amazing. They are obviously nuts.

  2. I feel ya, lady, I feel ya. Every day I'm becoming more and more aware that this shit is just going to get worse and worse until the baby is finally here! The third trimester is definitely no joke.
    (Also, what is up with people being grossed out - and vocal about it - by baby bumps?! I do not get it, nor will I ever! I think you look gorgeous.)

  3. I'm sorry that your dealing with the yucks, but it really is refreshing to read a post about pregnancy that doesn't make it seem like its all sunshine & rainbows! You are almost there :)

  4. I remember those days! The reflux and heartburn were the worst for me! I can remember the first night after giving birth and sleeping through the night with out terrible reflux; it was amazing!

  5. Bless your heart sweet girl! hang in there.. Very very soon you will have that sweet baby & then your body can go back to normal. You can have tons of wine & sleep like a baby as long as baby of course allows it :)

  6. Oh wow, I remember feeling this way towards the end of my pregnancy. Of course I gained so much weight that I was too self conscious to post any belly pics. You look great! Heartburn is the worst. Just keep popping those tums. They provide some relief... sometimes. haha

  7. I love this! And I love you! I hated being pregnant. I always wanted to slap the ppl that said they loved it. Hang in there! You are so close to downing that bottle of vino you deserve!

  8. Bitch and moan your heart out, sister. You're growing a human, you do what you want!

  9. I love this so much! I feel like everyone acts like pregnancy is super fun. I'm personally not the world's biggest fan of it, but I'm grateful to be pregnant just like you! And, your bump is adorable!!

  10. I felt this exact same way during my pregnancy. I just wasn't happiest being pregnant. But being almost 3 months out I can totally say it was worth it.
    However, I'm in NO HURRY at all to do it again anytime soon

  11. Oh man, I have so much to look forward to someday! Thinking of you and wishing you a good night's sleep very soon!

    Courtney @ Little Miss MBA

  12. My poor friend was sick the whole pregnancy!! It is not all sunshine and roses, there raging hormones alone are enough to scare me. Bitch away, girlfriend!!

  13. Hang in there girl. If it is any consolation at all, I think you look beautiful. I know that doesn't help the way you feel, physically and emotionally! ((HUGS))

  14. This is so great!! Everyone acts like being pregnant is roses and sunshine. I'm grateful to be pregnant, too. But sometimes it down right sucks. But other times it's pretty amazing. Thinking of you!!! You're almost to the finish line! <3


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