Monday, December 16, 2013

Jury Duty #WIDN

Currently,  I sit waiting for my number to be called, like at the deli. Except today I get to punish a criminal.  

I arrived at 8 am and have done nothing except watch tv. No cable and it's on about a 13 inch box monitor with rabbit ears. My ass is numb and my phone battery is dying. I have dozed off twice, only to be woken up with drool on my winter vest. 

Hungry.

 Thank god I had .60 in change for the vending machine snacks.

Confinement.

When they say a jury is a mix of people, they ain't kidding. 

Observations.

To my left, the gamer. Approx age 18. Skinny jeans, backwards B's hat (flat brim) and playing "Adventure Time" for the last 3 hours. If it wasn't .99 I would have downloaded it also. However, I think he's a good kid considering the most recent calls on his call list are his Dad and a kid named Jason. He also uses instagram. 

To my right, OCD business man. Approx age 37. Hasn't put his phone down since he got here. Very busy. Possibly gay. Currently, texting and emailing. He just constructed a todo list of about 100 lines. I initially thought this was on note pad but then he hit send. Some poor sucker is going to be a busy bitch today. 

In front of me. Male. 50 yro. Ball cap on top of his head, tilted down over his eyes like a Grandpa does when he wants to take a snooze.  Poor guy is crammed into the same size chair as me and has so much side ass that it's actually pouring out the sides of the chair.  Not comfortable. 

Behind me. 40 year old woman. Shiny nursing shoes, short trendy hair cut, iphone. Trying to stay "cool" as long as possible. Her husband has been made aware that their daughter Madison has a orthodontic appointment at 4 with Dr. Bob. Coincidently, Dr. Bob was my orthodontist also. However I did not share this information. She thinks we will be out at 1. 

There are 27 more people in this room with me. They range from construction workers, students, crafters (I know this because one woman has taken the Christmas wreath off of the wall and disassembled it), one guy with a disgusting cough making me paranoid to the point that I want a mask, a Woodstock hippie, a goth girl with blue hair and some that blend in. 
I'd like to think that I'm in that " blend in "group, but waking up to sucking up slobber is no way to remain unnoticed. 

I'm ready to go home. 

10 comments:

  1. Too funny!! I hope you get to go home soon. At least you are making the most of it and observing all the interesting people around you!

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  2. Haha! Love the observations!! What a mixed bunch! The drool might make you stand out a bit, keep that in check!

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  3. Hahaha! I would be totally noticing every little thing...People watching is one of my favorite hobbies. Sorry you're stuck in all girly.

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  4. I love this post! I hope you get to go home soon. Sitting there doing nothing is the absolute worst!

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  5. You crack me up!! Hope you're out of there asap!

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  6. I'm sorry to inform you, but you are WAY to beautiful to go in the unnoticed group. Drool or no drool, I can guarantee you were the hottest one there!

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  7. Dis little nugget is my favorite post of the day!

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  8. Hahaha! I wrote a similar post a few weeks ago about my jury duty experience... ohhhhh civic duty. At least you won't get called again for another year!

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